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Entry tags:
5 + 1 | sins and forgiveness
title: contritus
series: D.Gray-man
characters: Allen & others
summary: "Five times when Allen forgave somebody, and the one time he couldn't."
notes: for the 5 + 1 meme
ONE.
Allen wasn’t in the habit of saving food for later. It came with growing up in the circus, it wouldn’t be there later. It was a lesson he learned well but this – it was so good. He’d never had anything like it, a perfect combination of soft and chewy, sweet with a subtle saltiness that lingered pleasantly. Somehow even the wooden skewer added to the charm. Allen was in love.
He left the last skewer there to run off to ask the lady at the food stall exactly what wonderful thing had she fed him and when he came back Tim was hiding under the table and his mitarashi dango was gone, skewer and all.
Allen ignored him for half a day but in the end he couldn’t stay angry at that face. (Do golems have faces?)
TWO.
The second time Allen met Hebraska he was still traumatised from the first time. That was mostly Komui’s fault though so he smiled and repressed a shudder until he was sure she wouldn’t see.
THREE.
It took a while to get comfortable being Cross Marian’s apprentice. Honestly it was more like being a personal slave but the general rule was you either got used to it or got shot. Allen was a survivor, he got used to it.
Unfortunately he was also a circus brat so he also got a bit uppity.
The day he found out that Cross had signed his name under another creditor (it brought the total to seventy-five)…it was a special day. Allen’s face went so red Cross thought his apprentice might actually explode and prove that spontaneous combustion really did happen.
“Can I hit you just once?”
Allen fully expected to be backhanded for that but to his surprise Cross said nothing and stood there. He took that as a yes.
“Who said you could aim for the face, you useless brat!”
He couldn’t really remember what happened after that very well, must have been the concussion, but that single punch had felt so good.
FOUR.
Noah. Traitor. Those were words that Allen heard frequently whispered. It hurt. People that knew him would so easily turn, so easily abandon him. It made him feel young and alone all over again, remembered a time before Mana and before he was Allen.
Red Arm, a cursed boy, Noah, a traitor, it made no difference.
Still, Allen would protect them and fight for them. They were his home.
FIVE.
Allen always lingered after a battle, head tilted back and looking up at something no one else could see. The soul was translucent, gentle morning sunlight like fingertips pressed against thin silk just filtering through. He was battered and bruised, blood soaked through one side of his coat but he was smiling.
Allen responded to the words only he could hear, to the face of a weeping woman only he could see. “It’s okay. I’m okay too.”
+ ONE.
He spent a year dreaming of that moment every night. Woke up shaking, face streaked in tears, screaming too judging by the barely patient face his Master managed to regard him with. He couldn’t help it and he didn’t want to change it anyways.
Allen would have been all right with spending the rest of his life like that, haunted by Mana in his dreams every night. Crying and screaming every night. He deserved it.
I love you.
He woke up to a dark room, the air too thick to breathe. Distantly he noted Link hovering by his bed, eyes wide and confused. Allen’s screaming must have woken him up.
I love you.
It took several minutes before Allen could breathe again. He pretended his face wasn’t streaked with tears when he turned to Link with a shaky smile. “Sorry I woke you.”
Allen had never forgiven himself.
series: D.Gray-man
characters: Allen & others
summary: "Five times when Allen forgave somebody, and the one time he couldn't."
notes: for the 5 + 1 meme
ONE.
Allen wasn’t in the habit of saving food for later. It came with growing up in the circus, it wouldn’t be there later. It was a lesson he learned well but this – it was so good. He’d never had anything like it, a perfect combination of soft and chewy, sweet with a subtle saltiness that lingered pleasantly. Somehow even the wooden skewer added to the charm. Allen was in love.
He left the last skewer there to run off to ask the lady at the food stall exactly what wonderful thing had she fed him and when he came back Tim was hiding under the table and his mitarashi dango was gone, skewer and all.
Allen ignored him for half a day but in the end he couldn’t stay angry at that face. (Do golems have faces?)
TWO.
The second time Allen met Hebraska he was still traumatised from the first time. That was mostly Komui’s fault though so he smiled and repressed a shudder until he was sure she wouldn’t see.
THREE.
It took a while to get comfortable being Cross Marian’s apprentice. Honestly it was more like being a personal slave but the general rule was you either got used to it or got shot. Allen was a survivor, he got used to it.
Unfortunately he was also a circus brat so he also got a bit uppity.
The day he found out that Cross had signed his name under another creditor (it brought the total to seventy-five)…it was a special day. Allen’s face went so red Cross thought his apprentice might actually explode and prove that spontaneous combustion really did happen.
“Can I hit you just once?”
Allen fully expected to be backhanded for that but to his surprise Cross said nothing and stood there. He took that as a yes.
“Who said you could aim for the face, you useless brat!”
He couldn’t really remember what happened after that very well, must have been the concussion, but that single punch had felt so good.
FOUR.
Noah. Traitor. Those were words that Allen heard frequently whispered. It hurt. People that knew him would so easily turn, so easily abandon him. It made him feel young and alone all over again, remembered a time before Mana and before he was Allen.
Red Arm, a cursed boy, Noah, a traitor, it made no difference.
Still, Allen would protect them and fight for them. They were his home.
FIVE.
Allen always lingered after a battle, head tilted back and looking up at something no one else could see. The soul was translucent, gentle morning sunlight like fingertips pressed against thin silk just filtering through. He was battered and bruised, blood soaked through one side of his coat but he was smiling.
Allen responded to the words only he could hear, to the face of a weeping woman only he could see. “It’s okay. I’m okay too.”
+ ONE.
He spent a year dreaming of that moment every night. Woke up shaking, face streaked in tears, screaming too judging by the barely patient face his Master managed to regard him with. He couldn’t help it and he didn’t want to change it anyways.
Allen would have been all right with spending the rest of his life like that, haunted by Mana in his dreams every night. Crying and screaming every night. He deserved it.
I love you.
He woke up to a dark room, the air too thick to breathe. Distantly he noted Link hovering by his bed, eyes wide and confused. Allen’s screaming must have woken him up.
I love you.
It took several minutes before Allen could breathe again. He pretended his face wasn’t streaked with tears when he turned to Link with a shaky smile. “Sorry I woke you.”
Allen had never forgiven himself.